I Want My Doula To Be…

I get calls from women looking for a doula. They often do not know who they want. Sometimes they give me a bit of information about themselves and hope I can tell the who to pick. I don’t. Sometimes they call and say they want a particular doula and say that their friend loved this doula. But I remind them that they need to figure out who they love rather than pick a doula based on a friend’s recommendation. Sometimes they tell me their midwife suggested a particular doula. It is the same response.. You get to pick your doula.


Sometimes folks are looking for a mother doula- someone who is older and will “mother” them. Sometimes they are looking for a sister doula- someone their age or near their age. Sometimes first time moms feel they want to be “protected” by having a strong doula- one who will speak up for them or drive them to stick to their original convictions. Sometimes moms feel they need a gentle, soft voice in labor.

Guess what? Our doulas can be all those things. They mother, they support you like a sister, they help you find your voice and help you stick to your convictions but they also gently guide you with a soft voice when you desire and need that. When you meet a doula, spend a bit of time asking her about her experience- her methods of care. Being strong and being soft, being loud and funny and being laid back and quiet are all within the realm of each of the doulas in our group. They are like chamelions and become what is needed in that situation. Do not underestimate the quiet doula, can she roar when it is needed. Do not overestimate the gregarious doula, she can be a gentle, quiet spirit in the room as well.